}

Wednesday 20 April 2011

Time

In my world, there are simply not enough hours in the day right now.
Time rolls forward relentlessly at such a pace I can barely catch my breath.  I work an average 80 hours a week, as does Simon, and so it goes on, and on, and on.
There is of course some point to all this madness, but that point is not to be laboured upon here, for frankly, it is simply too long winded and perhaps not all that interesting to most folk.

When time is short, it is precious, and precious things ought to be treated with the utmost consideration and valued for all they are worth. Time is indeed precious to us right now, as a family, as a couple, as individuals. Time together and time alone. It is the time alone that Simon and I struggle to find the most. When we are not working in the literal earning money sense, we are working as a family, caring for our home and brood and trying to enjoy quality family time. There is just not much left over at the end of it all for alone time.

All that said, I am learning that it is amazing how much one can achieve when time is against you. How much you can pack into a few hours or minutes. I am learning what is really important and what is quite insignificant.
Each week I am hit by a great wall of tiredness, each week it is greater than the last and just when you think, surely it cannot get any worse, it does, and yet we carry on, of course we must.

Winston Churchill said 'When you're going through hell, keep going' and really what choice do we have? You learn how strong you are when you are required to show strength. I realise I am rambling now, the end point is this. The more tired I become the more alive and capable I feel.
 The less time I have the more I seek to find and eek out minutes here or there. In short, I am incredibly productive right now (by my own standards at least) and in some perverse way I actually relish the challenge of dragging my sorry arse out of bed each morning and telling myself that 'Today I am going to give a little bit more', I have to, and I do.
I have momentary lapses and minor meltdowns, sometimes I just head outside for a breath of fresh air and a sob, but carry on we must, and we do, Winston Churchill was a wise old bastard, wasn't he?

I came home last night at close to 10pm. I have felt a  rising sense of frustration in recent weeks over the lack of me time, specifically time to create. I try and do a little each day, but as the great wall of tiredness has become greater, I have created less and less. Last night I came home and told tiredness to get bent. I came home and set up the sewing machine and silently began sewing bundles and bundles of strips. My time, precious time, I'll take it whenever I can. Sometimes sleep is overated.

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So, I made a start on the Scraptacular Quilt, a good start, and then I slept like I have never slept before. Cried like a baby when the alarm clock rang out, and got up and did it all over again. Tonight, I am sewing some more, tomorrow I will cry like a baby again when the alarm goes off, and so it goes on... It's all good though, when your head hits the pillow and you mentally tick off the To Do lists and creep a little bit closer to the end goal, all the while enjoying the little victories against time, it feels oh so good.
When this madness is over, I will never take time for granted again. Oh no.

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10 comments:

  1. You put me to shame. When I'm tired I feel physically sick and dizzy and I cannot do anything more than lie down.
    Just try to remember that we work to live, we don't live to work. I know this it is easy to write these words and I totally remember what it is like doing crazy hours at work.
    The world won't stop turning if you take a break every now and then. Be good to yourself too.

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  2. This quilt will be so special to you Tallulah when you look back years from now.
    You're a wise woman too...such strong and wise words (and I do love the Winston Churchill quote). Another quote someone told me years ago (and of course I cant remember it word for word) was ...if you want something done, ask a busy person. They will make time to do it.
    I hope your work life slows down for you and your family soon and that you can get back to your idyllic life in France?
    Your strip quilt is DIVINE...love what you are doing you busy girl. Are you doing this the QAYG method?
    Sleep tight tonight after your sewing.

    Jacky xox

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  3. Ah Monda, Ah don't you worry about me, it won't always be like this, it's all part of the big plan. Lots of work now, to pay for happy early retirement (from marketing at least) so I can put my feet up (as much as a mama of 4 can!) and sew until my hearts content. I may be tired, but I am also beside myself with excitement, the future looks very bright indeed. Sacrifice now for pay back later.
    As for taking a nap, I would do that if I could of course, as I said, you don't know how strong you are until you are required to show strength!
    Loving your flippery kippery collection btw, am thinking a quilt for Bear!

    Thank you Jacky for your sweet words, and you are so right about asking a busy person!

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  4. Wow! I got kind of tired just reading your post...you are one busy woman! It's so impressive that you still find time to create, even once in a while, and those fabric colors are GORGEOUS! Hang in there (as you are). I wish you all the best for meeting your goals, and getting back to your "ideal"!

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  5. Your quilt is going to be beautiful. Just like that sweet little embroidered piece I spotted a few posts back, and just like that little baby boy you pictured! Sounds a bit trite, but hard work always pays off in the end!

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  6. Lovely way of articulating your situation and the quilt is such a lovely illustration! I can relate on so, so many levels (now I just need to remember that Churchill's wise words!)

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  7. Oh my friend..it is so true...time does not wait for anyone. I hope you find that extra time soon just for you my friend. Your quilt is beautiful...really I do not know how you did it after a busy day...good for you! Hugs. xoxoxoxo

    ps...if I could you would be getting a cupcake via airmail! xoxoxo

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  8. the life of a working Mum is busier than any. you are a trooper! i am loving the pinks and oranges in the quilt fabrics, my colours! look forward to it finished. :) i love the churchill quote as well..

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  9. I don't know how you do it, girl! I feel like there are not enough hours in my day and I don't work the schedule you do! But, I do know that when you are on a tight schedule, you can often accomplish more than when you have nothing planned. I tend to waste time then. I love your quilt block! Thanks for the link. I'm thinking about trying one too! That could be a fun swap, also!
    xo,
    Sena

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  10. Lots of vibrant energy in the fabrics you've pieced together! I think creativity is a life preserver and with your full schedule I'm glad you are managing to hang on to it!

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